North Carolina!

Man, I havent been getting many hits to the blog lately, thank god for North Carolina! Getting a suspicious amount of visits from Raleigh and Cary! Weird huh, you'd think people had better things to do with their lives, especially older people, huh?

This Blog

This Blog is in no way serious, so people need to take some of this with a grain of salt. If you are readingt this then you SHOULD know me however some people who read it do not. If you do know me, then I figured that you would know that I am never serious. Half of the stuff I say is made up and I started this thing to be funny and come up with some type of outlet for that. So much of the stories are fabricated into funny stories with the thought that it was understood. I guess it is not. I am not sure why this blog is getting stumbled upon and who has that sort of time, but seriously people....it's a blog...My blog, where I thought I had the freedom to post as I want and say what I want, but I guess not. For the time being I will no longer post about other people to the extent I have...they are jokes people..

I Fucking Love this Game

As I sat here thinking about blogging on the Reds game tonight, I quickly went through my head all the negative things I was going to observe. Edwins, throwing Error, his inability to bunt, Dunn and him Striking out looking with a 2 run deficit. Paul Bako dropping Jr's throw and letting the run score. And perhaps Bronson giving up a double to the PITCHER....Then fter two MISERABLE bunt attempts, the Reds bring me back. One swing of an Edwin Encarnacion louisvile slugger and the Reds win the game....I mean I FUCKING LOVE THIS GAME....How exciting does this year have the potential to be. Brandon Phillips in midseason form, 2 yound dominican pitchers throwing heat in the roatation, a top tier closer.....

LONG LIVE JOHNNY CUETO

Long Time, No See

Sorry I have really slowed down on my postings. I feel like with work and school lately I have just been too busy to post, and it's almost as if nothing has happened to me because I have been so busy with mundane things such as a the aformentioned, school and work. Let's see. Well Mikey G took my dog for the week in Cincinnati, something I looked forward to. Not being away from her, but just having a week where I didn't have that responsibility, and also a week where Mikey G could be with her. He is as close to her as anyone outside of myself and I feel bad that he moved to Cincinnati and was forced to be away with her. I never understood the TRUE greatness of that dog and how he missed her that much until this week. EVERYTHING reminds me of her and everytime I am reminded of her, I get the urge to whistle for her so that I can play and/or pet her and yet she is not here to come to me. Little things; like tonight while watching a movie, it thundered and I thought uh oh where's sophie, shes going to growl. And of course, she wasn't there. I grew up without a dog in the house and outside of an outdoor cat that we sort of adopted, I did not have a pet until I was like 9 and we got a cat. So from then on in, I grew up with cats. And don't get me wrong, I loved them, but nothing compares to a dog. I never fully understood why people loved dogs so much, but about 3 years ago, I decided to find out. I realized that there must be a reason that people got dogs and loved them so much and I decided that I wanted one. My girlfriend at the time, Berkie, had a dog that she loved and so I went to her for guidance. I asked her, what kind of dog do I want. What would be the greatest dog for me. My only obligation was that I loved the dog and it loved me. She came back to me with a quick response. "You want a Yellow Lab." I didn't know why she said this at the time, but now I do. Sometime in late June her sister got a full bred yellow lab. I immediatley saw pictures and was jealous. In July, when Kara was about to go to Africa, I told her "Don't be surprised if I get a dog while you're gone." Obviously I was telling her this because I wanted her to get jealous that she could not be there to look for a dog with me. She came back to me and said "Well, do you want Sophie?" Sophie was the yellow lab that her sister had gotten. She informed me that it would be free and that Amy was not able to give the dog the time it deserved and wanted to get rid of it. After a few calls to my dad, he told me that a dog was a huge responsibility and that I had better think about it before I get her. Well, the terms were that Sophie would be returned to the breeder very shortly and I had to make a decision. I am notoriously known for wanting something, not thinking it through and getting it, and I did so this time. I told Kara that night that I wanted the dog. Later in the week my brother brought her up from Cincinnati and I was the proud owner of a dog. I had all the repsonsibilities, but I had done my research. I took that dog out to pee every 30 mins or less for the first week. At night, I caged it, until I could not take it any longer and let it get into my bed. I was blessed. That dog was amazing. I think she went to the bathroom in my house about 8 times total in the first few months I got her and never again. I chose not to take her to puppy classes but to instead reward her when she was good and scold her when she did something I did not approve of. Man it was a responsibility. My dad was not lying. Every time I leave the house now I have to worry about when she has last gone to the bathroom and when I will be back. Now I have the best dog on the planet. I love dogs now. But mainly, I just love very few dogs and like the rest. I love my dog because she loves me and only wants to make me happy. Last night, talking to Mikey G he was telling me that she was making noises at him (the noise, only I can hear in my head) and when I said take her out, he did and she did not have to go to the bathroom. He texted me back, I think she really does miss you. I never thought that I would miss the responsibility of having a dog but I do. I miss them greatly. That dog is my life now, and mainly because I am hers. That was the best choice I have ever made. My best memories are with that dog...I am glad that Mikey G is getting this week with her, but baring any vacations or deployments, this won't happen again. A piece of me is gone and I cannot to reunite with her....

Long Live Johnny Cueto

Happy Mikey G wasnt wanted day

24 years ago today my mother went into labor wanting so badly a boy. Well at approximately 10:51 am, she got one...Problem was, there was another on the way....Did she ask for two boys? No...She asked for one and she got it....So the way I see it, Mikey G was/is unwanted

like i told sophie....once a year I get to wake up and feel like the king....and thats today because its my birthday...but 365 days a year, I get to wake up next to her, and that aint bad...thats 365 birthday gifts a year, and I can't complain...

I am 24

I am 24 yrs old...Sorry I havent written in a while, I have been MEGA busy,...but seriously today I am 24.....SERIOUSLY 24...how old... 50 years ago I would have been looked at as degenerate for not being married with kids....but todays world suits me best....C'mon do I really need kids and a family? FUCK NO....but I do feel old....and noone seems to care as they shouldnt.....Tonight was fun for the midnight turn, tomorrow should be better. I have the night off work and cornhole tournament. Hopefully I start drinking early and win in c-hole with rick driving me. The only one who seems to care is Goster.....Love the kid, honestly is their a nicer kid out there? I contend there is not....Kid will hook u up on ur bday whether he has $$ or not...Love him... I hate, HATE, HATE being 24....that is so old....oh well in june i will have a college degree, so f it....but god damn do I feel like a loser...oh well..im gonna graduate no loans to my name, perfect credit and the world in front of me...is'nt that what it's about? The world is in front of me...I've done my share of partying, now it's time for me to move on, but never let go of the dream. Sorry I havent blogged in awhile, but more to come....my life as it stands as a 24 yr old....Opening day tickets, Johnny Cueto, yellow lab, happy as could be....good life if you ask me...and I'm all that matters

this one is for Becky

Everytime I see Becky she asks me why I have not blogged about a certain even that took place about 3 weeks ago, and everytime I tell her that I forgot and that I was drunk when it happened and I am drunk when she reminds to me to blog about it. Well know I am doing it.
About 3 weeks ago, I head on over to the FHM on 13th and Indianola, or as I like to call it, my 2nd home. When I go there a few of them had told me that prior to my arrival they were trying to explain me to some girl that was in town visiting Janelle. And how I was messed up and perverted and weird I guess or something. Anyways, we all go out for the night and get pretty decently drunk, but since my buddy Evan was in town I went back to their house after the bars to drink more with him. When we go back, the girl that was in town visiting was sitting around with us, chowing down on a oversized hot pocket none the less. Anyways through conversation she started to talk about the goverment or something. What came out of her mouth next made me want to shoot her in the face and almost shoot myself in the face too....She said, and I quote, "The government has cured AIDs. Oh yea, they have the cure for AIDs, they just don't want us to know about it." Now I was drunk so I cannot tell the story exactly as how it went...but I do remember most of us didn't really even put up much of a challenge or debate. How do you debate that? Is that not the dumbest thing you have ever heard. You cannot even take that seriously. And if you do, stop reading my blog immediately.....go into your CLOSED garage, start your car, windows down and take a nap.

some cool shit

While avoiding studying, I found some really cool websites so here ya go
http://www.getamused.com/jokes/010419.html
http://www.slapyo.com/wp-content/adviceco.jpg
HAHAHAHA this one is rated R but i loved it
http://www.coloringbookland.com/archives/333_pussy_fisted_first.phtml
http://www.jibjab.com/view/23845
cute.... http://www.deanhunt.com/singles-advert.html
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/news/queensland/stab-victim-continued-masturbating/2007/06/20/1182019162978.html
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/news/queensland/stab-victim-continued-masturbating/2007/06/20/1182019162978.html

there now get back to work, RICK

Jr. Griffey

In February of 2000, the Cincinnati newspaper headlines Read "The Kid Comes Home." The Cincinnati Reds, my favorite sports team and basically my favorite everything, had signed Ken Griffey Jr. to a 8 year contract. Immediately I fell in love with the man. Not because he was the best player in baseball or because he was the poster boy for Nike, but because he was a Cincinnati Red. As a Reds fan in the era of overplayed players signing marquee names is not an option. We simply cannot compete with teams in New York, LA, and Boston. When a player reaches free agency, one of those teams will offer them a big contract that teams like Cincinnati and Cleveland simply connot afford to do. That is why the Yankees are always in the playoffs, they buy all the good players. They can forgo worrying about scouting, drafting and developing their own men. In 2000, my Cincinnati Reds went out and got the best player in baseball, offered him less money then the Yankees did, and got him. He said he was willing to take less pay in order to play in his Hometown. You could imagine how much this already made me love the man... Jr. was the complete package. he hit for average, power, played better defense then anyone in the league and a had smile worth the millions we were playing him. As the years went by Griffey's injuries started piling up. I stuck by him. I did this because I was his fan and he got hurt playing the game. Nobody can preven getting hurt, its just part of the game. Over his years with the Reds I have purchased his shoes twice to go along with other random Griffey memoribilia that I have. I even own a sticker of his face that is like actual size for your car window. I jsut havent put it up yet, but I will this season. This 2008 baseball season will be the last for Ken Griffey Jr as a Cincinnati Red. I don't know how I am going to cope next year without him and this year is going to be bittersweet. I wish he would've been able to play more because if he had, he would most be chasing the all time homerun record. And it's a tradgedy that he isn't. Instead of Barry Bonds, the people would be watching Griffey Jr take over the greatest record in baseball. And the people would love it...they hate Barry Bonds and his steroid allegations. I will be there on March 31 to watch Ken Griffey Jr's last opening day as a Cincinnati Red. Here's to hoping he just doesn't get hurt in spring training and he will be in the lineup...I wish that was a joke too...

Woo HOO

Tomorrow is going to suck. I had to work all day and I am tired now, so tomorrow I am going to get up at 9am, go to the Library and study till my 1:30 and 3:30 finals, then go straight to work, and then polish off some celebratory brews( Run-on sentence I know, but I took English 110 like 6 years ago). Heres the thing that will get me through tomorrow. After Tomorrow, roughly 4:30 pm, I will have the following in front of me. Pretty much 2 weeks of a Spring Break and ONE quarter left in my College career. College has obviously taken me a lot longer to finish then just about any of my friends, regardless of the year I had to take off for the Guard or not. I definately did not do well for a while there and finally got my act together. It's not easy to admit that you fucked up in school or in anything for that matter, but here is what does matter. I learned from my mistakes, straightened up and will have my degree in just 10 more academic weeks! Its going to be extremely special for me because of all the trouble I put myself in. I definately will not miss studying for exams, writing papers, and trying to stay focused/attend class. I owe one to the academic advisors of OSU that put a caddle prod in my ass and forced me to graduate. All of them know me, of that I am sure...I am the Van Wilder of the largest University in the country.. It kinda sucks being a 24 year old college student, but hey.....yunno what doesn't suck? Being a college graduate with 0 loans, having my full tuition 100% paid for and basically no debt. That is not something ANY of my friends can say except for the ones that had mommy and daddy put them through school. And I guess that includes my siblings. Of course, 2 of them have graduate degrees, so they have their own loans...Regardless it's nice knowing that while it took me a while to graduate (5 academic years), it has cost my Dad 0 dollars.. God I love the National Guard....

gay Girl

I work with a Gay girl at work and she is cute and our age....I've known she was gay for awhile, but did not mention it to her because I was told this in secret.....Tonight she said somethin about a guy loving her and then goes "But it does not matter because I am a big homo!" So I told her its cool I am gay with Drew Thomas and she said that it was different because she really is gay...how awkward...Now I could take 2 roads....Exit 1a where I would not speak about her gayness and Exit 1B where I embraced it...As my coworkers have decided to take exit 1A, I am in lane for exit 1B and fully committed to get off here...As they ignore the issue and do not speak of it as they slowly and respectfully take the first exit, I have decided to forgo that and go on for the much more comfortable (for people like myself) exit....So now here I am on exit 1B and when chicks come in, I ask the lesbo if she thinks they are hot and then we discuss what we would do to that girl sexually(very similiar and its so weird).....Exit 1B has worked out well, and it looks like it leads to better pastures....This is one route I am glad that I have chosen

Gas Station Pimp

Today while driving to work I realized that I have enough gas, but not enough for the blizzard, so I decided to pull off and get a little extra because I did not want to run out gas. As I made my way to the front door to pay for my gas I was merging into the front door with other traffic...The other traffic happened to be a cute girl....I thought to myself, "We are going to get there at the same time, maybe I should beat her to the door and hold it open for her." Problem is, I was losing the race...She beat me to the door, and what does she do? She grabs the door and decides to hold it open for me! How unbelievably cool is that, our roles were reversed, the girl held the door open for me. As she opens the door for me, she says "After you." Instinctevely, and realizing how amazing awesome this girl was, I say to her "Wow, can I atleast get your phone number so that I can get to know you better before I marry you????" She comes right back at me and says "well sure, I don't want to marry a stranger, that would make my husband a creep!" End of the story is I got her number...I have never really gotten a number like this before and truth be told I wasn't even thinking about it, I just said what I said without thinking....So now I have this unbelievably cool girls number with an unbelievably cool story only meant for a movie......I have decided to push this charming side of me more often if this doesn't work out, but maybe it will....I will definately call her...How PIMP was that though? I played it perfectly and was so proud of myself....I had to immediately call Rick Nasty and he was proud of me too....On another note, RENT GONE BABY GONE....What an unbelievable movie....I hate movies because most of them seem to just waste 2 hours of my life...Well this one did not....It takes a lot for a movie to impress me, and this one did....What a great fuckin movie, and it was EVERYTHING I want in a movie...perhaps a good first date movie to watch with Speedway girl? haha it's all coming together now for this Gas Station pimp.....wow, good day Kevin, I give it a 9/10...which is excellent for a working day in which the credit card machine was down, and we could not fix it....how cool is it to get a customer, jsut like yourself who realizes it's just part of life, we can't help it, and we would change it if we could....we just can't take cash because of a flaw in technology...tehcnology that usually makes life 100x better when working...so you roll with the punches, get cash out of the ATM and ..more to come tomorrow because I do not have to work and I have some funny material/pics to talk about. Thank you, come again

Hats

After class today I went to get a new Reds hat for the upcoming baseball season. I made may way over to the mall thinking for sure that I would find something. They even had a Lids store at the mall..Problem is, I chose to go to Eastland Mall on the eastside of Columbus....Either that, or they do not make hats for white people anymore. All of their hats were the dumbass looking ones with the flat bill. The ones you are supposed to not bend at all and keep the gold new era sticker on it...So I did what ever proud white Republican man would do.....I shot on over to Gander Mountain and got a camoflauged hunting hat..YEEE HAW

haha perfect

A Cell phone with a bulit in breath analyzer hahahaha
The phone can also be programmed to block selected numbers in the address book--bosses, moms, exes, pizzerias--if the breath analyzer records a blood-alcohol concentration over 0.08.

This has got to be the worst injury ever

http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2008/03/03/felix-pie-suffers-tragic-twister-accident/

Holy god that hurts to think about

Today's Douchebag Award goes tooooo....

Brad Barnwell, Biggest douche of the day for commenting Anonymously on my blog and then posting his own political blog.... Here's to making Brad feel so bad about himself, that he goes blind!

one more thing, I am a nerd

haha super Tuesday today is exciting for me...I know I am a nerd, but it just is...It's almost like a super bowl for political nerds like myself....I won't comment too much because I don't like to talk politics with people who will be offended, but it's not secret I am a Republican.....Tonight was pretty cool how Hillary made that comeback and as most Republicans see it, she is a mroe beatable candidate as well as more conservative...We hate the woman, but hey she votes more conservative than barack HUSSEIN and well she actually HAS EXPERIENCE...amazing isn't it...How a guy with no experiences can be good at giving speeches whcih leave little to no idea about what he has in his plans for the future, yet can invigorate young, richer Democrats so much to vote...This country is going to go Democratic in 08 unless McCain can pull something out of his ass...If it's Barack then I am sure he will go the route of his past or lack there of and his lack of allegiance to this country...If it's Hillary it will be morea campaign against Democrats in general and he will harp on how bad of an idea it is to pull out Iraq...like it or not the most RETARDED thing we could do is pull out now...notice how a year ago, you turned on the news and all you saw was soldiers gettin hurt and killed and now you never see it? THats because the war is far more successful these days, the troop resurgence worked and well the liberal media, god bless their hippy hearts, wont put news stories on a Republican war having successes....Sad, but true...Wow, my blogs always end up longer than I originally plan...Live big Jimmy Haynes

long time no see

Sorry I haven't posted anything much lately, I have jsut been working a lot. And I usually work after school so it does not really offer me much time to add anything and I guess I am starting to slow down on material...Reds related, they signed Jerry Hairston Jr and Corey Patterson, neither of which I agree with. I know they are minor league deals and that they most likely won't make the team, although Patterson may end up beingthe centerfielder, but its just that enough is enough....Seriously do we not want Jay Bruce to start in CF...If we are playing for the future, and sadly enough it looks like 09 is when we should be good....then let Bruce learn up at the Majors...I mean he was voted the best minor leaguer last year of thousands up thousands of prospects, so its not like he will be a totall loss out there. And by the time 09 comes around, he will be set in and ready to go, not to mention he will still have a good 08 season...let's see what else is new...Kelly is charging $130 an hour for her lawyer services which is all good and dandy, but come on, she made more than that at her last per hour job. I mean a reach around got her $50 on the streets yunno? I am off work for a couple of days so I will check in more regularly tomorrow and Thursday, I promise...So pumped for the baseball season....it is my favorite sport by far, yet I understand when people think it is to slow and boring, and I jsut humbley think that they just don't understand the sport on the same level as I do...I mean I think that its the fairest sport in the world...An average starting player has 150 some games and around 400 at bats to provide stats...that means he may be hot for a week and then shitty the next, but in the end the law of averages works out...they always say that the back of a baseball card does not lie and I firmly believe that..What that means is, if the Reds were to say sign a guy who hits around .270 every year, hits 20 homeruns and knocks in 50-60 RBIs, and it says so on his statson the back of his baseball card, well chances are hes going to exactly that for the Reds...Of course the steroid era really threw a wrench into that when total ass clowns started becoming formiddable homerun threats, but that is behind us now. ok time to watch a movie and hit the sack!

With all of these steroid accusations in baseball I want to add my own accusation....this little shit is no doubt on steroids....loook at the differences in Barry Bonds (obvious roid user) and Connor...The kids on the juice...and maybe hittin up the wendy's baconator a little too much....but this is the next Jr. Griffey or JAY BRUCE! haha

Nobody gets that big that quick...This kid is doin the juice.....which sucks because I had him slated as the #1 overall draft pick of 2025.....just needs to work on his hand eye coordination because his accuracy is that of todd coffey and his catching abilities liken wily mo pena

Great Griffey Article

The Cincinnati Reds right fielder enters this season with 593 home runs and 453 reasons to use steroids and human grown hormone. That's how many games Griffey has missed, mostly due to aches and pains, since joining the Reds in 2000. Since recovering from injury is the flimsy alibi for taking steroids and HGH, no one would have benefited more than Griffey, right?

I love this man

Somebody Shit in My BAsement

Here it is, the world premier of the music video! HAHAHHAA

BP

I stopped by BP tonight on my way home, up off Morse Rd. I don't recommend it because the guy working there smelled like he pooped his pants...It was god awful

junior

while waiting for this music video to upload, I checked out my reds update for their spring training game, and well...In just his 3rd at bat of the Spring, Junior has gone deep...I love that man

Seans video

I am heading over to Ricks right now to help make seans music video. I will upload it tomorrow, it is going to be hilarious, so be excited

hint: I get elbow dropped in the nuts on camera...so ull like the bloopers

Back at the library

Back at the library and finich my paper. I have about 2 pages left and 2 hours to do it in...and all I can say is, WOW THIS PAPER BLOWS..it is by far one of the worst papers I have ever written and/or read...Here's to hoping the teacher jsut skims for requirements because he has about 35 of these long ass thigns to read....oh well

I am with Gillispie

good read.. i love people too

My brother is a sell out

I appreciate the Ohio State gear, but the Yankees hat? C'mon this makes me wanna puke. This kid will root for any team with a winning record. I can't wait till I see him next and give him my 2 cents. Typical Cincinnati kid, jumpin on the bandwagon...

And Just for that, I am going to put up a naked picture of him, just to teach the little twerp a lesson....I know he's my brother and all, but he has to learn...and Why not learn early so that the mistakes don't continue

Cornhole League

Tonight is the cornhole league that Rick Nasty and I do every Thursday downtown. We usually beat the opponents and then head on over to Gaswerks for $1 32 oz beers and free pool. Mikey meets up with us and the two of them play pool and enjoy one their favorite pastimes while I drink beer and stay content because that is one of my favorite pastimes. Although, if you talk to me regularly you know that I am in the middle of a diet so may drinking days are a little behind me. I usually keep it to once or twice on the weekends, eat healthy, and run on a treadmill 4-5 times a week. Its worked out well because I lost about 16 pounds in a 3-4 week period, but now that all the beer weight is gone, I am down to losing a healthy 2 pounds a week or so. Right now I am right about where I want to be weight wise. I will probably lose about 5 more pounds and then call it a quits...Not go back to drinking more, or eating fast food/shit again...but more relaxed and at a maintaining my weight type lifestyle. Anyways tonight is a big match up for us because we play one of the 4 teams that are tied with us, having one loss...Rick called me today and said we may have a problem...haha then he told me it was because he had surgery today, and I got scared. When I found out it was to remove a mole, I was happy again. For some reason Rick Nasty is the only one of my friends who would consider that as an injury..a mole removal on his non-cornhole armpit...It's no wonder that kid is good at computer stuff, we need to get him out of the house more often..I guess thats what this league is for:) And on a side note, the fantasy baseball season is coming up and I will stay retired. I do not like playing in this league because RICK mades trades daily and it is way to hard to keep up with him. I lose EVERY year...and it's not that I do not know baseball, because I most certainly know it better than Big $$ and Mikey....Perhaps its because I waste my #1 pick every year on Ken Griffey Jr. When healthy, he is still solid but no means is he a first rounder...then towards then end I usually draft Reds players that I think will be good, but in reality stink...People like Scott Hatteburg and Norris Hopper just do not belong in Fantasy leagues...but people like me insist on them having all-star years...If I were in it this year, I'd be all over Jeff Keppinger...Of course, if you have seen his stats the kid can straight out rake at the plate...Live Large Todd Coffey

Library is gay

I am sitting at the Sullivant Library right now on campus and looking for an excuse to take a break, so what better one then my blog...I have to write an 8-12 page paper for Poli Sci 575. A lot of the books are on reserve here and when I walked up to the desk, they were like "Let me guess, Political Science 575?" haha the paper is due tomorrow so apparently the entire class is with me on procrastination. I got an A- on the midterm which accounts for 20% of the grade. I don't miss class, so I should get a full 15% of the attendance grade...The final which is like 30% of the grade should be just like the midterm, so I will be fine..This paper however is worth 35% of the grade.. I know that if I can jt meet the requirements then I will get a C...And I know that it sounds kind of pathetic, but that is all I want. A grade of C on this paper, and doing well on a final that I am sure I will, should put me at a B. And I am happy with a B in this class, because its actually kind of hard. And my other class is pretty much going to garauntee me a B+ A - maybe even an A, so its all gravy. Amazing what happends when I decided to start attending class! Anyways, I have chosen Incumbent Republican Senator, John Cornyn to write my paper on. Now I have to basically write atleast 8 pages on why he should be re-elected in this year's Elections. I could pick any Senate race, and I thought what easier one then to pick a conservative from Texas...Ive already managed to bullshit my way through nearly 4 pages and I have all day tomorrow to have it done and turned in by 5pm...The only good thing I can see about writing this paper is that it will be the last paper I write for my collegiate career! Most advanced Political Science classes require atleast one paper, usually in the 10 page range to be written...and while I love politics and I figure myself to be a good writer, I hate writing papers. For all of those people who say, "Do NOT graduate! Being in the real world suck," well you suck. I cannot wait until all that i asked of me is to show up and do my job...no paper deadlines looming, no midterms to cram for, nothing. And if you truly believe it sucks to be graduated, then get another job because obviously yours sucks. I on the other hand have recently discovered a lot of avenues in which I can take when I graduate because of my military experience as well as a political science major...and all of which that seem very intriguing to me....so when the papers are done with, midterms are over, and I don't have to walk 15 minutes to anf from each class in this ridiculous Columbus weather, life will be good. Ok back to writing a paper that would bore most of you and I somehow don't blame you.

I am an angry white man....and proud

http://www.aspentimes.com/article/20080209/ASPENWEEKLY06/198091324/-1/ASPENWEEKLY

Good article for those who are fans of politics and not fans of Billary

He also votes, and the Angry White Man loathes Hillary Clinton. Her voice reminds him of a shovel scraping a rock. He recoils at the mere sight of her on television. Her very image disgusts him, and he cannot fathom why anyone would want her as their leader. It’s not that she is a woman. It’s that she is who she is. It’s the liberal victim groups she panders to, the “poor me” attitude that she represents, her inability to give a straight answer to an honest question, his tax dollars that she wants to give to people who refuse to do anything for themselves.

First serious blog

Last night I got drunk and wrote a really gay blog...hows this serious blog workin for ya now?
And on a more serious note, Dana has girl's name and I am starting to think he has girl genitalia as well...

This Blog

With this google analytics thing, I see that all sorts of people are visiting my blog...and most people aren't telling me...This blog is a way for me to express my own creativity....I am not creative in the way that most people are. I suck d*ck at art, I cannot sing, I am no artist....All the things that my roommate Ricky is, and sometimes I wish I was. What I feel like I am good at, is making people laugh and writing these things makes me feel like I am doing that..and I strongly believe that this is leading to something....So I want feedback. I have set up my comments section so that all of you can comment without an account or signing up for anything. The next step for me is to be more honest with what is going on in my life. So I need to know if I should do just that. Maybe more serious blogs and whatnot, which is actually quite hard to do. Its something my friend Drew Tarvin does in his blog and I respect a lot....Having no shame and just telling people what is happening with him..It's not an easy thing to do...to blog when things are not going you're way, and to be truthful...to blog about personal issues and what not...So what do you guys think? Should I start getting some serious blogs into this....I mean it will still be funny, because thats the life I lead...Just please please please leave feedback and tell me your opinion...I like to please the masses;)

The most awkward moment of my life...within the last week or so...

So last friday night while we were filming for Sean's music video, i was dressed at the homeless man that allegedly pooped in his basement. For that scene, the cameraman ( Rick Nasty ) was supposed to come down the stairs and show me squatting over a garbage can pretending to be a homeless man pooping. So there I was, pants down around my ankles, squatting over a garbge can...I was drinking a 40 and holding a sign covering my goodies...So when rick said he was on his way down, I started my acting....here's the problem, the next person to come down stairs was not Rick. In fact, it was a hot chick coming down to get her laundry...so there I was, pants down squatting over a garbage can, drinking a 40 and she walked into it. The fact that Rick did not warn me was deliberate...which I had to give it to him....it was genious and hilarious at my expense....how awkward

Water Sports is for girls and sodomites!

Ladies, Meet Louis

http://view.break.com/458100 - Watch more free videos

Air National Guard

If you had to ask me what the best decision I have made in my life was, it would be joining the Air National Guard. The time commitment is so minimal compared to the benefits. 100 % tuition, GI Bil every month that has allowed me to live without a job for a while, traveling....the list goes on. I will keep this short and sweet. The job that I do is truly one of the coolest in the Air Force. Being an airplane mechanic on one the Air Force's most important assests continues to stimulate me mentally and has been a blast. I love everyone in my shop and actually have gotten to the point of looking forward to going in there. Not to mention, it's an important job and it is a great way to serve your country. As of right now, they are offering a $20,000 signing bonus for my AFSC (job) in the Guard.....This is on top of 100% tuition, loan repayments, GI Bill....all for one weekend a month (24 days) and 2 weeks (10 days) a year....Figure an OSU Tuition is $12,000 a year (4 Quarters)...Throw on GI Bill monthly pay, your drill pay....and the signing bonus....you are getting paid thousands upon thousands of dollars to attend school and do roughly 34 days of "work." Which is rarely ever considered work to me...Point is, if you know of any youngins looking for the greatest deal ever and a way to pay for school, Send them my way...I will be completely honest with them and can not stress enough how unreal the deal has been for me. Of course, if you still have a few years of school left, or just want to see the world, make some extra cash, serve, and hey need $20,000.....you can sign up to...and for those of you who know me, you know this is a good deal...

I am in love...with an adobe aficionado

The other night I found Rick's new lady friend online and wrote her a message about how I would like to role play with her and do some sort of naughty things. Well when I read her response I was in love. She suggested that we role play, only I act like myself and she acts like Ken Griffey Jr. Now, if you know me, this is the PERFECT response for me. I immediately had feelings of joy and love. I thought to myself, am I really going to have to steal his girlfriend like I did his last one? Anyways, for the past couple of days I have been thinking about how much this girl was perfect and how Rick was lucky...Well, not so fast. Tonight when I was talking to Rick, I told him about how she had responded to me and how excited I was..He didn't recall remembering if he knew what she had written me back. When I told him, and explained how this response has invoked feelings of love, he laughed and told me that he told her exactly what to write and she didn't really understand whshe was writing it to me. I then had an epiphany that many have you already have come to realize. I am in love with Rick. People tell us that we are dating and what not but it didn't hit me until then why we hang out so much....That response to my message supposedly came from a girl that I had never met and knew little about, and it was enough to make me fall in love....Come to find out it comes from someone whom I hang out with all the time, share many of the same interests, and seem to always have a fun time with...Now throw in the message that I fell in love with and it is all well too clear...This may just be the man I will be with for the rest of my life, just some hot fling, or a relationshiT that will turn into a bad breakup eventually....Regardless of what the future holds, I owe it to myself to admit it when I am in love and to give love a chance....I just realized it's not a joke, I really am in love with Dick.

Tonight's Music Video

Tonight Rick and I are headed over to Sean Noe's to record his music video. About 3 months ago when Sean had discovered that a homeless person had shit in his apartment complexes basement, he was completely disturbed. So he did what any rockstar would do, and recorded a song about it.....I couldn't attach a wave but I could put a video in, so I made it into a video with just a picture of Sean...enjoy..the music video will come later this week probably.


P.S. Dick owns elbow pads....haha wow, put my foot in my mouth when I said "Who seriously owns elbow pads"

Haha Todd Coffey is one special guy

In 3,753 professional at-bats, Norris Hopper has just 4 homeruns. Now, I like Norris Hopper but this goes to show that he has extremely little power. So today in Spring Training during live batting practice, Norris Hopper hit one out over the right field fence. And who exactly do you think was pitching? Todd Coffey hahahaha.....Adam Dunn then took him deep on back to back swings followed by a homerun over center by none other than Jr. Griffey...God I love Todd Coffey

Japanese Game Show Marshmallow Eating

hahahah ohhh you crazy japanese

Gay Ray

Drew and I go to the gayest place ever to get your haircut. You go there and this dude named Ray, which is perfect in rhyming with Gay, sits you down after you sit in his lounge and watch Star Trek. He cuts your hair in 5 mins regardless of whether or not it looks good. All the while, talking about his various boyfriends and the various penis he has captured since you last saw him. Today, while gettin my haircut I made the mistake of asking him if he was still seeing his boy in Toronto. He quickly came back with "Boy, that guy couldnt suck a golfball through a garden hose" haha oh my god, how hot. I guess it's better then the guy I got in Cincinnati who according to Barnwell, is a coke head. This guy was atleast 400 pounds, but that is neither here nor there. However, he was so big and lazy that he cut my hair SITTING down next to me...haha or we could talk about the guy at Teck's that rubs his beer belly all over you while he cuts your hair...

ok time to dominate in cornhole, we are tied for 2nd as of now...and tonight we play some nobody's...of course I just go to continue the tradition of hanging out with the two newly single bachelors, Rick and Mikey...Although Dick has made a lot of movement towards being in a relationship again...I mean, uh Rick has....

Obama is a joke

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/mark-finkelstein/2007/10/20/obama-no-hand-heart-pledge-either-will-msm-notice
I hate him. He has the least experience of anyone and refuses to debate Hillary. This guy has studied in Muslim schools and does not support America. His wife recently said she has never been proud of this Country until now. What a f*ckin joke...Oh well, Im sure he will win the nomination at the DNC and John McCain, a real American, will tear him a new asshole. Any one who refuses to support the country's national anthem and flag should not be allowed to run for President....ok on with the liberals getting mad me;) Thats cool I probably don't like you anyway

This is the guy running your ship?

This is Marvin Lewis' signature on this football. Bengals fans have intrusted this man to lead them to a winning football team...The guy can't even spell Who DEY. What a joke of a franchise

Nascar

The othe day when I met my mother's new boyfriend, he was sitting down watching Nascar as if it's somewhat entertaining, or somehow a sport....I promptly told him, "I do not wanna blow this for you, but I think coming up they all take another left"

one of my favorite jokes i once heard a comedian say was "how do u get away from a Nascar fan if he is chasing you?"..............."turn right"

Sorry Mandy

What did I tell you?

Just when I told you that Jim Bowden was a toolsack and a terrible GM, he goes and does something like this to prove it!

Reds close to a deal with Josh Fogg

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2008/feb/20/fogg-on-verge-of-deal-with-reds/

The Reds are reportedly extremely close to a one year deal with Pitcher Josh Fogg for somewhere around $1 million. I personally love this deal. Josh Fogg won 11 games last year with a 4.94 ERA. I know that's not spectacular, but its decent...Its definately as good as Matt Belisle will give you. And he's been consisitent with it over the last 4 years....If nothing else, you have to atleast admit he's a good #4/5 starter and especially for the money. There is nothing wrong with bringing in a LOT of pitchers for spring training and letting the best 5 get the starting 5 positions. At the worst, we lose $1 million, but I do not see that being possible, because Josh Fogg is a bonifide backend rotation guy, who eats up 170 inningsa year, which is average...Oh, and I guess it's kind of cool that I once sat in seats given to me by Josh Fogg when he was in town with the Pirates. His college roommate at Purdue was my first flight instructor...

Famous Footwear

Back in November when I needed a job real badly I decided to suck it up and get a job at the local Famous Footwear. The kicker was that the assistant manager is one my sister Lauren's best friends. After a month or so, and actually the very first day, I could not stand the place anymore. I got 15 cents more than miniman wage and worked with all guy guys. They started getting suspicious that I was homophobic, which I am not. oon word spread around that I was looking for other employment because I hated gay people. This couldn't have been further from the truth. Eventually this rumor wore on me. I got sick and tired of all the gay guys gossiping about me behind my back over some false allegations...Well once Christmas time came around, I decided to quit...Only I quit this place like 16 yr old HS student. I stopped going in and I didn't call or anything...the old "No call, No show...Something I am sure most of you have done in you adolescence unless you actually had morals. Well now I really need money and I don't start my new job until Saturday night. Tonight I must force myself to go in there and pick up my last paycheck...and I am scared. Yes, make fun of me all you want but I want to avoid this awkward situation at all costs. Fact is though, I need to eat....So I am working on getting my friend Dana to go with me. Somehow I think that this is going to force them to not mention anything to me and jsut hand over the check... I hope that this will be the case, but either way, awkwardness and probably hilarity is sure to come from this.. I will be sure to update you after I get this.

UPDATE:
Dana and I went to Famous Footwear and after having him listen to me cry in the parking lot for a few minutes, we made our run for it...and luckily, when we got in there it was a brand new manager working and another girl who was just a pee-on like I was...everything went smooth and I have once again been proved that I am a pussy..This time I didn't need a coyote to prove it

Why didn't I think of this?

http://www.nbc4i.com/midwest/cmh/news.apx.-content-articles-CMH-2008-02-20-0013.html

I know that if I did, I'd wear gloves to cover my fingerprints...Because all that blood would be the same DNA and assumed to be the murdered twin...not that I have actually given this any thought....but who seriously wants to hear about the dolphins and cell phones over and over again?

Check this out

http://www.freemosquitoringtones.org/

I have been told by old people such as my father that he has tested this out and it in fact is pretty accurate...either way its a pretty interesting idea

The world's most retarded family, reunited.

Earlier this week when I read that the Washington Nationals had signed former major leaguer Bret Boone, I almost cried. When things like this happen to the Washington Nationals is reminds me of how happy I am that General Manager Jim Bowden, is no longer with the Reds. Seriously, half of the players that have been signed by Washington since Bowden's arrival have been ex-Reds that he always thought were going to be good, and never were. None more evident than the horrific, Wily Mo Pena. Now on to the Brett Boone signing. This signing now reunites baseball's most retarded family, the Boones. With Bob "Baboon" Boone working as a special assistant in the front office and Aaron Boone already with the Nationals, the three are together again... The worst part is that Bret Boone has not been relevant since the new Steroid testing came into place... How does Bret go from hitting 7 homeruns in 1997 to hitting 24 in 98, the year that Jose Canseco alledges steroids became very popular...Then after putting on an extreme amount of muscle Bret follows that year up with more impressive numbers including a 2001 season of 37 HRs...Then mysteriously when the new steroid-testing program was instituted in 2005, Bret Boone hits 7 homeruns and disappears from the game of baseball. Now Bowden is giving a 39 year old has been a chance after not playing baseball for 2 years...I seriously question how much longer Bowden is going to have a job. I realize he only offered him a minor league deal, but it is still making his organization look even more like a joke, and that is hard to do. I knew when Bob Boone once sat Adam Dunn the day after he hit 2 homeruns in Florida, because he wanted to rest him, that he was an idiot. And he did the same to Jr. Griffey that same year...but these kind of deals are horrific. It is almost as if when the Reds fired both Jim Bowden and Bob Boone in 2003 they decided to make a pact and give everyone the Reds had cut or traded a chance...including each other, after all it was Bowden who hired Bob Boone as the advisor.... Outside of Jose Rijo and Barry Larkin, I wouldn't mind seeing the team accidentally be in RFK stadium when it gets imploded for a new stadium being built. But then again, without the NAtionals where will current Red rejects go after their stop in Cincinnati...poor todd coffey, mike stanon, david ross, and even probably Adam Dunn would eventually be unemployed...and I'd hate to see that

you aren't kidding anyone....

Why is that many pornsites like to advertise that their videos or pictures are of virgins. The title will be something like "Young virgin gets a surprise from her professor." Honestly? You mean to tell me that this girl's first time was caught on tape, she f*cks like a champ, and her professor just so happened to have a 10 inch cock?? The only people dumb enough to fall for this are horny teenage boys sitting naked at their computer rarin' to go....so I guess, nevermind...its genious.. and on that same very note, I have always felt that my roommate Ricky would be PERFECT for the job of making these captions. Of the various conversations I have with him, almost 90% of them are sexual. And 98% of those, don't even involve me talking...It will just be him talking to me about somethin nasty and me just sitting in shock. Haha, I think he has a future in this career.

Another thought of the day...If you do not have StumbleUpon, you need it. Most of you are Internet Explorer users, and I know this because I have this google analytics installed on my blog...and I know just about EVERYTHING about who is looking at my blog, where they live, how they got to my blog, how long they stayed at the blog, etc...Yea creepy huh? Anyways...StumbleUpon is an add-on for the browser, Firefox. I got Firefox about 5 months ago because Internet Explorer is terrible, and I was tired of it shitting on me and then asking me if I wanted to send an error report to microsoft...Once I got Firefox, which has worked out really well, Dana told me that you could get add-ons for it and do a whole bunch of different things. He told me about StumbleUpon...Basically here is what it is....I have StumbleUpon loaded into my toolbar. Everytime I click on the StubleIcon icon, Firefox will take me to a website recommended by other users based on my preference. So I have the following preferences on my StumbleUpon--- Humor, Sports/Baseball, Sex. Haha yes and whenever I click the button, it will take me to a random website within these categories..It is the perfect way to surf the web without doing any work on your own and wasting hours upon hours if you really want to...I highly recommend it, atleast for the humor category because you will find all sorts of hilarious websites you otherwise would never have seen..

This man gets paid?

The only thing worse than watching Todd Coffey come into a Reds game only to blow the lead and lose the game for us, is well.....watching Todd Coffey come into a Reds game. The guy literally sprints to the mound from the bullpen. Does he know how ridiculous he looks...A fat man running and jiggling all over national TV...he gets to the mound, well out of breath and then proceeds to blow the game, without fail. Look at this picture of him....You seriously cannot look at that guy and think, yep hes a professional athlete! My roommate Ricky likes baseball, he's jsut not some huge fan like I am. He used to always laugh so hard last baseball season when we would be watching the Reds game and Coffey would come in. Then Mikey G would make a comment like "Oh God, there goes our lead" and then without fail, Todd Coffey would give up something ridiculous like back to back homeruns and we would lose the game. I think getting Francisco Cordero will be HUGE for the Reds....If not for the fact that we have a Closer, but more importantly that it means Todd Coffey will be used in games that we are already losing and such....I hate Todd Coffey, now only if I could convince Mikey G to as well...

Monkey Situps

haha i love this shit

Sunday is for Tears!

I honestly believe that Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is one the greatest shows ever. I think that people helping people is truly life's GREATEST gift......I watch this show every Sunday night..Usually not for 8-10pm like its on, but thats because I have DVR...and DVR is the single greatest invention, but that is neither here nor there....From now on I am going to declare Sunday as National ( and if not national, Marble Cliff) Cry day...because I am in no way scared or worried to admit that Sundays is when I cry...haha i cannot handle this show...but seriously, Michael Maloney....stop being soooooooo fucking gay, I am trying to have a moment here...haha a moment without picturing a ween being shoved up my bum

and one more thing...PEOPLE, stop asking me to watch your dog..I AM NOT A DOG PERSON solely because I own a dog....I enjoy 2 MAYBE 3 dogs in this life....So Please stop thinking that i thoroughly enjoy watching your dog shit and piss in my apartment and bug/bite the living hell out of my dog...I DO NOT... If you're not related to me....and your Dog's name isn't Sophie or Sadie....dont bother....I like them, NOT DOGS...I like THEM....Sadie/Sophie...they are allowed into the party...any other variation, go away...thats how I roll

Im really not

I'm not homophobic in any way..but seriously, my dad is right. The gay guy on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition really blows it. I love this show but whenever he is on, its just realllly realllly....well I don't know, maybe GAY? This dude really bugs me and I hate to say it, but jesus, can you seriously just talk without projecting the idea that all you really would enjoy is a penis in your mouth? Sorry...I know I'm a little extreme, but.....just do the show dude, without being SOOOO gay and ruining it...anyways....i love boys

My brother had better!

When I was in 5th grade I realized I could beat up my brother....I came downstairs one day to find him sitting on to on the vent on a cold day...after much struggle,I ended up giving him a bloody nose for seating priority...He then went to the bathroom, cleaned up and came back...When he later insisited on sitting back down on top of the vent, I Punched him and gave him another bloody nose..the point is this..I have a twin and I know I can beat him up when I want, so he had BETTER take me to opening day with the Reds...I doubt he wants to get beat up again...after all he is a 23 yr old man, and thats embarassing

Question #1. Do you intend on making love to my mother?

i got drunk last night and wrote a nice little sentence about my sisters in my blog...when I woke up today, I immediately got my senses back and changed it...now its off to Laurens..AND THIS JUST IN! Brenda is on her way to the Bus and she has the new boyfriend with her! I hope you guys know that I am 100% sincerely excited for this....think about it...how many times in my life as a 23 year old man will I have to make a 50 year old man feel completely awkward..I mean seriously, no matter how inappropriate I get, AND I WILL GET INAPPROPRIATE, he has to go with it...and he has to keep his cool....What a shitty position for him to be in...Now I need to go so I can write down some questions to ask him, and Im not kidding....hah im going to interview him...sometimes i think my name should be Kevin Inappropriate Gwin Jr...but then my dad would have to get his name changed too, andI just feel like the legalty of the whole situation would be too much....

Dusty Baker wants to win, why not Kevin Gwin

Dusty Baker did a semi-formal press conference today. A lot of the Sarasota outlets were here, as was Jayson Stark of ESPN.So Baker was asked a lot questions about coming back to the game after the year off following getting fired in Chicago.“(Coming back) was something I looked forward to, and something I need for myself. I had a great time at ESPN. I wasn’t quite ready to do that forever.”Why come back? “I need to satisfy what’s inside of me – a couple championships. I can’t go home after losing.”How did he get over the postseason disappointment in 2002 and '03: “Just by thinking, studying, being thankful for life . . . How long can you live in pain? You do that it’s not living. You just go forward big time. You can’t live in the past. Live for today.”His Cincinnati memories: “I remember everybody in town being in red,” he said. “I remember being brainwashed before I ever got to the stadium. I’d see red in windows. Women had red dresses on. Men had red hats on. I remember knowing when you had them down they had a good chance of coming back to beat you.”Can he bring that back? “I’d like that. I’d love that actually. Winning does that. I’d feel like I did some of my job. I saw that on the caravan – we went to parts of West Virginia, Kentucky and Ohio. People are yearning to come back. They want something to come back to. Winning does that.”

John Fay's blog

Reds Spring Training Review

Wow, WHAT a success this blog is..
I can not say enough how excited I am about this Reds season. My earliest memory as a Cincinnati sports fan is sitting at my Aunt's house as a 7 year old boy and watching Todd Benzinger catch the last out of the 1990 World Series....I think thats what seperates us from Cleveland fans....we can REMEMBER when....and Cleveland has always been the butt of jokes...I mean, I remember WHERE I was when this happened...I also distinctly remember every opening day since, and usually the Reds losing. I remember distinclty my very own first opening day attendance. My dad had bought 2 tickets via eBay to opening day. He gave them to my sister Lauren as gift. I remember being sooooo pissed and thinking "I am the biggest fan in the family, why did he give these tickets to Lauren, a girl!" Luckily for me, Lauren took me as her guest to opening day 2004. Funny thing is, nothin spectacular happened that day....the Reds lost, our seats sucked major dickhole, and that was it....but i was there...You see, in Cincinnati, opening day sells out in under 15 minutes every year....Its just one of those things you do...Seriously we have gone in to opening Day twice (2003 and 2004) with Paul Wilson as our Opening Day starter and still sold the place out...Its like a yearly ritual for me....sometime mid February(Today for instance) the Reds have their first day for Pitchers and Catchers to report. And Everyyear,without fail Jr. Griffey is there early to warm up in order to pull some miscellaneous muscle early in the coming year...and every year I enter with optimism, usually making statements out of my ass like "Well this year Danny Graves will close it all all out but if he doesn't Todd Coffey is there for protection." Well, if you are a Reds fan then you know how ridiculous this statement is..In all reality Danny Graves and Todd Coffey would be Major League Shoe Shiners on any other team....but do not tell my brother, hes obsessed with them...poor kid...For the first time in probably over 5 years the Reds have talent, they have depth....Outside of the water boy, I seriously cannot give you a starting team....Now most people would think this is a problem, but within baseball this is an extremely good situation to be in. Within 3 years General Manager Wayne Krivsky(whom I've met, thanks to "Dick") is rated #3 overall in talent within the organization as opposed to the 24, 25 and 26s that we have been recieving....We have depth at every level...and tomorrow I am going to give you all my Spring Training preview, for what it's worth....and there are a few previews as to what Im excited about..... #1. The starting rotation...outside of Harang and Arroyo I am excited to see what Belisle, Affeldt, Volquez, Malloney, Ceuto, and Bailey pull in.. #2. Center Field. Between Freel, Hopper and Bruce...This will get interesting..With Bruce the #1 prospect in all of Baseball at the age of 20, I cannot be more excited....and #3 the Bullpen...Last year a TERRIBLE bullpen all of the sudden becomes good with the Francisco Cordero signing...we have a legitimate #1 closer, a legitimate 8th inning guy in Weathers and a legitimate 7th inning guy in Jared Burton.... combined with the talents of John Coutlangus, Marcus McBeth, and lack of talents Todd Coffey and Mike Stanton....Im super excited to win the NL central this year and tomorrow I will break it all down...I only hope to not upset Todd Coffey fans....after all, I love my brother...he just needs to stop sleeping in his Todd Coffey pajamas!

One last post before I go out

A few things on my mind right now...First thing is First....My dear friend, Anna Kiener decided to bring a few things to my attention tonight and they really got under my skin. First, she thinks that a certain piece of information on my facebook will get read by the wrong person and I and/or someone else is going to get in trouble with the law...I mean seriously? CAN SHE BE SERIOUS? I mean I know how dumb democrats can be with this whole Patriot Act thing, but in her mind she probably has this idea that The Secretary of Defense is checking out everyones facebook profiles right now...and more importantly that he gives a flying f*ck what I am doing or what my profile says...I mean do you think that Dick Cheney and Robert Gates are talking about my latest mobile uploads over a nice cold Budweiser...( and they drink Budweiser, because they are Republicans, thus not girly men beer drinkers) I can see it now. " Bobby, did you see Kevin changed his status the other day. It was so funny, I LOL'ed!"---"I know Dick, and when I saw his blog about his friend Dick, the one whose glasses fog up when he sees a girl, I totally thought that he was talking about you and he knew we were reading his stuff! I almost was LMAO"

Here's my other issue about Anna....She thinks I am messed up because I wrote some sexual stuff on my sisters Facebook wall...hahaha...What I dont think she gets is that, the very fact that she brought it up and was utterly disgusted by it, makes me extremely happy...Therefore, I have won. Plus Kelly's kinda hot, and if you went to Princeton HS then you know shes not the hardest girl to pick up....And then to make it worse, she says she reads my blog but she doesnt remember any of it...she merely skims over it, and then feels the need to pass judgement on me. If you guys reading this know Anna, then you know the one thing that seperates her and I is that I write and joke about gross shit....and well she does it...If it werent for the damn "Pinky promise" I could tell you things that she has done that would make you near suicidal....

One more question..Do Asians have straight pubic hair, because I keep finding a lot of straight hairs in my shower and I think they are Ricky's pubes...but he insists that they are his head hair...

Stay tuned tomorrow for my Reds Spring Training post..... (Here's a hint, I will predict Ken Griffey Jr to do some ridiculous things)

Ricky's mom is the Secretary of State

Pretty impressive that Ricky's mother came to this country as a poor chinese woman and lifted herself up by her own bootstraps to becoming a powerful figure in American politics...I just wonder how long Ricky was going to go without telling me about this...

Mai Tai

Today, walking back up to my apartment, Rob and I noticed a wet necktie sprawled out on the ground, as if someone had dropped it when they were taking a load of laundry into their apartment from their car...(detective work 101)...anyways, Goster© was wearing half of his outfit from last night that happened to be a suit with a nice tie and everything....and he looks down at the tie and says "That's not my tie" and I say, "I sure wish it was, Im thirsty for some alcohol" hahahaha well actually I didnt say shit, but I wish I had said that, and I did think of it...thats my biggest regret of the day thus far...Of Course I am about to hang out with Dana and go geocaching, so Im sure I am in for more regrets...after all the day is young and as Brenda always tells me, "I am one big mistake." Sike, thats Mikey G, he came 2nd and they technically only wanted one son...you do the math..

Dick is at it again

Now not only is Dick posting comments to my blog, but he showed his new lady friend my entry...which is kinda creepy because of the part about him waving goodbye...maybe Dick is slicker than I thought tho...but then again, his glasses fog up when he is with a girl, so I dont think my impression of him is going to change just yet...but i do however, still love me some dick

Goin out to Breakfast

Im going out to eat Breakfast with Rob Foster, or as I call him, Goster©...Thats Gay and Foster combined...and I copyright that

we will call him "Dick"

I have a friend, who we will call "Dick" to protect his identity. Dick and I have a lot in common and we hang out quite often...Here's my problem with Dick, other than the fact that he is constantly making fun of me.....Dick has recently met a girl through an online dating service. They have been talking a lot and even went out tonight for the first real date. Things seem to be going really well...I, however, have 2 problems with this. One is that Dick seems to talk about me a LOT to this girl and Im starting to get creeped out. I also think that she is going to either think he is gay, or leave him for me, because well I mean Im sure he makes me sounds as awesome as I am. My MAIN problem with Dick and his new relationship is that far before they even set up their first date tonight, he had already discussed with her under what conditions she would meet me. Yea, he is tailoring his new relationship that was purely over instant messenger and email at this point, around when she will meet me. He thinks that they have to have an established relationship before I am introduced into the equation...And he has also stated that I must be sober (good luck with that one) when we meet.
My mother is also coming up on Sunday to celebrate my whore of a sister Kelly's birthday. Brenda (mother with a sweet ass old woman's name) is excited because we will be meeting her new boyfriend.. Im also excited because this one is an airplane mechanic and not a 55 yr old Virgin like Kurk, the ex, was(whom I nicknamed "Big Dick Daddy" and called him it to his face). As long as Kurk is out of the picture, Brenda has a lot more space on her Balcony, because his SOLAR PANELS arent there...hahha..Anyways she has been harassing me via mobile telephone ALL frickin week to make sure I do not "screw this up" for her on Sunday with this dude....she thinks I am going to totally embarass her and the family....and well, if you know me, which you probably do..and if you dont, stop reading my blog you creep, shes 100% correct... I love meeting new people and especially new boyfriends to any girls in my life. Mainly my sister Kelly and my mother...I will do anything and everything in my power to embarass the boyfriends, especially during our first meeting. I figure, if you can pass the test of meeting Me, then you're good to go. Im just showing them the ugly first, because with my sister and my mom, comes me...and if this is going to be a serious relationship...Ill be around and if you cant handle my fucked up sense of humor out of the gate, you're wasting your time. Just ask my other sister Laurens husband...I recently picture messaged him a picture of a penis for no reason on a Saturday night while he was out with his friends....these guys just cant get rid of me...now to my concluding point...

Why is it that Dick and Brenda feel that I need to play a role in how their relationship plays out. Why are they so worried about what I will do, and not more worried about making the relationship work from their side. Maybe had "Dick" worried about how to interact with this girl as much as hes worried about her meeting Me, he wouldnt have ended their first date tonight, with a WAVE...haha not a kiss, a Wave..
I guess I should come with some sort of disclaimer. Warning if you are going to be my friend, do not plan on having a normal relationship with a member of the opposite sex....

man, I love Dick...

p.s. Ken Griffey Jr has already reported to Spring Training, a week earlier than he had to as usual, and Im sure that butt has grown atleast a little...mmm mm good

First blog

I decided to start a blog because Brad Barnwell kept telling me to...Probably so he could have friends of his blog or whatever. I am not really sure if I will ever blog again, but if I do decide to do this, I think it'll be a lot about the Reds during the season but also about funny stuff too. I always find myself in funny situations because I think I put myself in them. I dont really have a censor to what I say, so we will see if that equates to a fun blog?